I would buy this and gift it to someone that gets scared easily. After handing it over I would whisper into his/her ear “The eye of Sauron will watch you masturbate”. Then I would leave very slowly.
Source: Laughing Squid
My stomach tells me that there’s a certain food he wants. But some time after eating it my butt makes compelling arguments about why those are bad choices.
Better Singer than Justin Beiber
Everyone, listen to this! It is from the best video game ever made IMO.
> Xdone needs a mandatory 1.5mpb connection
Now it just feels like they’re weeding people out on purpose, do they NOT want certain people to buy this console? Are they playing the Elite Douche card?
They’re just going through a really bad case of Foot-In-Mouth Disease. It’s most likely the worst case in human history.
Oh no! Somehow I became mister [project] manager.
I deserve it, sometimes
So being my quiet self has consequences for me. I have a coworker, who seems to confide in me more and more, even though I don’t trust her or practically anyone with my things.
She started talking with this guy she met in her last trip. It turns out that the guy is really into her. So much so that she showed me one of their conversations, where he’s basically declaring his lust for her, and she is thinking that the guy doesn’t want to talk to her. I tell her the obvious: “He clearly isn’t using his thinking head. That grammar is plain horrible!”
Shortly, she approaches me again and tells me that I was right, that the guy likes her. This guy likes her so much, that the conversation can best be described as a teenager masturbating to his school crush and telling her everything that’s going through his mind, but with bad grammar.
I clearly have been doing it the wrong way. Being witty, thoughtful and trying to be romantic is clearly something that has resulted in bachelor me for 5 years straight, an eternity by my coworker’s standards. Now I know what gets me the girls like her, letting my dick speak and act instead of me.
I have to post these every time because 1) Hilarious and 2) Spot on